Yesterday, February 4, at 2:40pm, I said my last goodbye to my beloved wife, Janine. We had been in a period of remission which lasted not nearly long enough. But luckily, I was able to spend virtually every day with her as she found workarounds to get through some of the aftermath of the long chemo treatment. But we did travel and do things, and were enjoying life with both of us cherishing every moment. Deep down, we knew that any day, we could get the news.
Anybody who knows the stage 4 cancer treatments, knows that each scan, each blood test is done with fingers crossed. We never knew, but this return of the cancer shocked all our doctors almost as much as us. Just 2 weeks before she died, we were riding around in a small plane, sightseeing several times. A few days later, while she was sleeping I saw her in some distress, took a reading of her blood oxygen saturation and immediately scooped her up to the hospital. 8 days later, she crashed on full life support, her lungs filled with tiny cancer cells that somehow made it impossible to get enough oxygen. They spread so aggressively and instantly that there was no time for chemo to even work.
Some of you knew her, as she would sell shirts at my trio (Steve Morse Band) gigs, and she loved to travel and meet everyone. If anybody happens to read this who got their picture with Janine and I a few weeks ago at the Kansas concert in Clearwater, you have a photo of the last show she ever went to, and I’d love to see that shot if you could post it.
Thanks to all of the people who supported her, encouraged her, and were just nice people to her. She always felt comfortable talking with people who really loved music and felt enthusiastic about us being able to tour together, when she could arrange it. She was a great Mom, wife and soulmate. I just can’t believe what this last week has done to our lives. Cherish those around you, and let them know. I have absolutely no regrets from quitting touring to be with her, but she really wanted me to get back playing. It takes some time to set up gigs and such, so all the short tours we lined up were to allow her to accompany me. I will be playing those gigs and more, but without the wonderful woman I just lost.